xanga no more :) i've switched to using tumblr which is a larger and broader community of blogs that allow more creativity. so please follow: http://grapevinefears.tumblr.com and i hope all of you will soon discover this great blogging site which has a much friendlier format and allows a lot more freedom

movies, dramas, books. i guess you can say these are pretty much all things that pathetic sad humans have created to entertain themselves. honestly, most of it is made up shit. but yeah, if they weren't like that, the media could be possibly non-existent. if there was ever a movie/drama/book about real life, it would go down the drain. lets face the fact, life is damn boring. no one wants to see a movie about actual life, watching some made up fantasy about how people want their lives to be would be much more exciting. 

meanwhile, it creates like, a whimsical state of mind. a part of you that dreams or hopes that one day, the fantasy will come true for you. see how much these fake attributes of life are affecting the psychological state of people? yes its quite horrible. life is not perfect like the stories, at the end of the day; the hero and the heroine (well there might not even be exact characters in life for a first!) might not end up in some mushy love story. at the end of the day, the story of life might have a bitter, sorrow and melancholy ending.

but you know what? for me, thats okay. thats a sign that im still living in a real world, not some imaginary world inside my own mind. because life isn't about making everything perfect. its about making mistakes so that you can learn from them in spite of reaching sanctification, happiness comes not because everything is right, it comes because you have decided to look over the wrongs. and with that, we should live life without any fear, because anything that comes our way: good or bad. will teach you something, and with each passing day, week, month. 

we grow up, we mature. we learn to step carefully so that we don't hurt ourselves and others. we learn acceptance, we learn to control our jealousy, greed and envy. we learn to separate the real world and our expectations. but is that enough? are we to live in a colorless world, only to find disappointment and doubt? maybe someday, a spark of faith might be lighted, the time when we realize that our lives could possibly be as beautiful as we imagined, a chance that will change everything. 

veee:)

i cant believe you. what the fuck. you talk to me through text and phone like we're best friends. but when we get to school when im facing you, you hardly say anything. we occasionally exchange funny-whispered words. but what the hell? are you so chicken you cant even talk to me properly in life? at the end of the day it feels so awkward i dont want to talk to you because i dont like relationships to be cyber. electronic. fake. that just means your so shy you can't bring up some courage to interact with me in life. 

you talk to other people with no problem at all. you flirt your ass off. but you avoid me? you talk to me only when necessary? whats your problem? if your too scared or too embarassed to talk to me in life. then please dont make such an effort elsewhere. it just makes me think of you as a two faced fag who is PLASTIC. wait sorry, your not plastic...plastic people are flawlessly beautiful. HAHAHA. just kidding. plastic is not the right term. 

i just dont understand. so fuck off if your too chicken to talk to me. dont bother. it makes things so weird. and when you talk to me, i just keep thinking that in life you wouldn't say all this. why are you bothering to type or talk it through the phone. where we're not face to face.